Well, today I am going to ignore some of the larger issues here and get personal. It's the anniversary of the Kwangju Uprising, there are some interesting things happening on the Beef export issue, and the well-intentioned but burdensome new E-2visa rules continue to create drama for EFL teachers in Korea.
But you know what? This morning, I don't give a rat's _ _ _.I'm sad. A friend of mine lost her grandfather last week and this week I endured a loss of my own. That has me thinking about how one processes loss a little differently miles away from family and friends.
On the one hand, you can dodge rituals that don't work for you. If you're not a fan of funerals, or half-assed superficial expressions of sympathy from near strangers, you can avoid them. No one epects you to follow through with Western traditions or coping mechanisms. You can keep your mouth shut and just go with the flow, which can be kind of nice.
On the other hand, you're a million miles away from your Gina. "Gina" is my nickname for everyone's coolest pal. You know that person right, that one friend from way back, maybe high school, maybe college, who knows you well and always just knows what to SAY when the shite hits the fan? Gina was the first person you called when your first adult relationship, or your engagement (or maybe even your marriage), plunged like the Titanic. Gina has pictures of you with braces in an orange prom dress, but she would never post them on Facebook. Gina would never say, "I told you so." Gina has helped you move. When someone dies, or something bad happens, it's good to be able to track Gina, or whoever that friend may be, down. Buy that person a coffee, or a beer, and just hang out in the knowledge that bad things happen in life.Even if you're nice, and you planned ahead, and you flossed your teeth. Bad things happen.
When bad things happen in a foreign land, you are surrounded by newer people,new thoughts, new options, new perspectives. Intellectually, new perspectives are very interesting. Some of these new options might seem better; they might fit your personality better. But they might not.
I like Korea. I have learned from living here. But emotionally, I'd trade a new perspective for ten minutes with my old pal, "Gina" in a heartbeat.
2 comments:
Patty, I love your blog! It reminds me of all of our good chats around the kitchen tables of 30 Wallace St. and 73 Sunnyside Ave. I totally agree with you about the ups and downs of Expat life; the year I lived in France had many of the same "best of times, worst of times" characteristics! Thanks for your interesting posts, you're in my feed reader.
Thanks. :)
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