Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Culture Tease







A short trip home is like a slow-dance with a married man. You just get comfortable, swaying with the rhythm, and your anticipation starts to build. Then, poof, it's over, and you're left alone in the glare as the lights come up. Last week I took a harried, hurried, glorious trip to Boston for my father's wedding. I haven't lived there in years-and yet it still makes me feel nostalgic, jealous, and proud. The funny thing I noticed on this trip is how my body and my mind have adapted to certain realities in Korea. Living in Korean culture for two years made the customs of Boston, even in the places I can't help but love, seem strange.


The term "culture shock" was introduced for the first time in 1954 by Kalvero Oberg. A Canadian anthropologist born of European ex-pat parents, he used the words to describe the confusion and disorientation travelers and immigrants feel in radically different environments. He was an interesting, well traveled guy, and his later ideas on the various stages of cultural adaption are worth a glance if you ever have the time. (I wish I'd read them when I moved In my aging apartment in Nowon-gu!) I guess the strangeness I felt returning to my hometown was a reverse culture shock of sorts.


Things that seemed strange:


1. The many inches of space between people walking on the sidewalk, even in the crowded shopping district.


2. Seeing so many non-Asian people


3.Reading signs automatically as we walked-without trying


4. Over-hearing English, Haitian Creole, and a little Spanish


5. Smelling the sea in certain areas, when the wind picked up


6. Cabbies speaking my language well, knowing exactly where to go, and how to avoid traffic


7. Being surrounded by women of all heights, shapes and sizes!


8. Straining to calculate a "good tip" for good service


9. Variety


10. The high guy buying smokes in the 7-11. I looked at his glazed eyes, his rocking body, and heard his odd speech. It took me a long minute to process what the hell was wrong with him. Then I remembered-people can get drugs in Boston. It seemed so foreign.


There was so little time, but I did take my boat-fiend boyfriend on a Duck tour in one of those WWII era amphibious landing boats. While out guide, a retired Coastie with a wonderfully harsh Dorchester accent, hammed it up and amplified the entertaining aspects of local history, I got to relax and to see some of the city from the Charles. (The guy did a good job actually. Cheesy jokes aside, he knew his local lore.) It was an exciting-family filled weekend, full of the in-jokes and catching up. I was curious to meet my boyfriend's sister and see if they were a like. Even in my jet-lag and nostalgia haze, I wanted his family to like me, of course. I wasn't worried about my family liking him. He's an easy going guy-most people like him. :)

I snuck in three quick trips to American stores, and scored comfortable, well made shoes at the Rockport store. (There is one in Seoul-in Itaewon. It is just small and obscenely expensive.) The flats I bought were on-sale, but the clerk had no idea how much more I was willing to pay for shoes that didn't pinch in on my feet! I love the Rockport company's domestic selection and prices.

Later, I bought every John Freida product sold at CVS and marveled aloud at non-whitening make-up. The morning of the wedding, before everyone checked in to the hotel, Steve and I stole away to the downtown location of Shaw's supermarket. When I lived in Boston, I would have thought it a "yuppie store" and thought the various enthnic and sweet foods it sold too expensive. I had a long list of spices, powdered soups, dips, and Western cookies that my freinds and I wanted.

The store over-stimulated me! I wanted every Balance Bar, every Fantastic organic soup mix, a basket of of Petite Ecolier cookies; I imagined a cart full of SmartFood and Cape Cod potato chips. I'm exaggerating, of course-but I did seriously wonder how many Goya products I could carry in the extra, empty tote bag I'd brought to fill with food. My boyfriend and I share a love of food, and even he seemed tempted to while away precious wedding-day minutes staring lovingly at the cold cuts aisle. We prioritized lighter items that would be easier to carry, and had to go leave before we found the French Onion soup mix. My American relatives complained that rice is getting too expensive back home, but after Seoul, the prices on spices and sweets seemed low. Compared to the speciality markets serving foreigners in Seoul everything seemed so cheap!

Time flew by too quickly.
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